So now we have another convicted criminal heading up the information police. I refer of course to Admiral Poindexter who was pilloried for lying to Congress. Imagine that . . . we live in a country where our leaders lie to us in the 'interest of National Security'. I find it so hard to believe that, I mean really . . . our own leaders? Gosh, what is the world coming to? I for one, feel safer from the godless masses when 'Admiral' Poindexter is at the helm of our great nation. He and Oliver North are true heros for standing up for thier beliefs. Yes folks, the more things change, the more they really, really stay the same.

How do we know if our species will survive? Living in Northern California I am subjected to boundless optimism from some quarters of our society. An aquaintence said that she lives with the hope that if even one person becomes enlightened that it may spread far beyond that one person to population of the world. Take at a look at the population clock at www.census.gov why don't you for god's sake! So let's do this . . . calculate the spread of enlightenment (statasticians out there take note!) versus population growth. My point, stunningly obvious of course, is that population growth far outstrips enlightenment (or learning). Most of us never become enlighened and if we are, some of us don't even give a damn. Who has time for enlightenment when you don't have clean water and are starving?

At least we are doing our part in America where our society depends on consumption. We are the fattest nation on the planet. We have more obese people per square mile on the face of the planet than anyone else! I for one am proud to be in a country that can do that. It should serve as an alternate source of energy, we could have liposuction processing plants (LPP's) next to power generation plants. Not only that, we lock up a higher percentage of our population than any other country on the planet. I am proud of that capability. It proves we are superior to everyone else.

Yeah, so another rant and rave. So what? I'm not doing anything to make it better. Hell, even som conservatives are doing more than I am! So if you want some facts and the sources? Look them up yourself, read a little and learn how to manipulate the web for your satisfaction.
By the way, nah, I'm not bitter, just angry, cynical and a realistic pessimistic optimist.

I think we all wonder at times about if what we write will withstand the test of time. Obviously, some people don't give a damn at all. I find myself somewhere inbetween. I wonder, but in the end am fairly sure of the triumph of meaninglessness over much of what we humans do. Depending on my mood, very sure of it in my own case! Isn't a journal or a BLOG inveterate narcissism? I think so . . . .

I had my interview last week with U.C. Davis for the Physician Assistant program. It went well and I interview well. Still, competition is fierce and I may not get in. I still feel deep in my soul that much of my short life has led me up to this point. The point of being able to apply, the chance to earn a decent living in an honourable profession that I feel passionate about. Medicine can be a profession that can either really help you, be of marginal use (until you are sick!) or end up killing you. Still, the commitment is fierce and I endeavour to have purpose, to contribute, to find meaning in a life.

I will receive an answer by February 1 2003. I hope that whoever reads this, someday, will or has found something to be passionate about in thier life, that you are making some kind of contribution to the world. Ethical or moral imperatives? Yes, there are, at least for me.

From Paris to Tokyo

The following is from a letter to a friend in Paris now on their way to Tokyo.

Do you wonder about the future much? I think that most humans assume they have one, that we live our lives based on the assumption that we will be alive for some years. If so, what do you see for yourself? What do YOU want I wonder? Can you continue doing what you love into your 60's and 70's barring significant health problems? Do you want to?

I just wonder how I will be dealing with life later and of course that brings the question up for friends around me. It touches upon larger questions too, at least for me - the question of gee, What IS it all about Alfie? Why and what are we here for and in the end, does knowing that answer make any possible difference in what we do? Should we even care?

I know that I do, not only about the question and answers but about the process of getting there,which may be to the place of never knowing, that old answer about the journey itself being the answer all along.

Anyway, late night musings but I would love to hear from you about it. It is a late night beer drinking scotch swilling tropical night question over kava bowls and Fijian singing with the full moon rising and trade winds blowing.

All the best to you my traveler friend.

My first posting or blog . . . taking my own advice to a friend currently in Paris to start his own blog as he has been an inveterate journal writer in his global travels for so many years. Currently back at University, I am in transition once again to a new career and hope to start summer of 2003 in a Physician Assistant program. Eventually I hope to joing the Peace Corps again or work with Medicines Sans Frontiers. For now though, it is back to work.