My friend - John Wunder

This post is about me although it is entitled John Wunder. I say that because it is the living who are reserved the privilege to write about the dead. I cannot even really say that John was a friend since I only knew him for a few years and then . . . only at a distance. So to be fair, to be completely accurate . . . he was my neighbor.

We were the type of neighbors that talk over the fence or as we met over work that took us out into the world of fences that need mending or grass, with its unique sweet smell, needs cutting. There was that occasional cup of coffee on a cool Sonoma morning.

So I write this in memory of my memory of John because I am unsure as to how many friends that he has or if anyone will write of him. In this unforeseen way, I will remember him and selfishly, I hope that someone someday may remember me or the deeds that I have done or of some contribution I have made. Is this not what we all want? To be remembered? Loved? Thought well of?

So about my neighbor John, some words that come to mind - gruff - loyal - stubborn - dismissive - hard worker - practical - smoker - dead from smoking - friendly - unassuming - but these are not the sum total of a man's life are they? Of course not . . . and with John there was much unsaid.

Look, we all live our lives with so much unsaid. Some live their lives as caricatures of what might be or what they think they are or hope to be. I am not sure if he did but paramount to me was that John seemed stubborn in his pursuit of some type of honesty - with himself and others. It was far too complicated of a thing to try and unravel - especially now that he is dead.

It was the simplicity of sharing time together that had meaning for us. In growing up I did not understand what being a neighbor, a good neighbor could be. But that sharing of your time can be a sacred moment, a fun time, a time rife and hidden with meaning that only becomes clear when more wisdom, however hard won, comes our way.

When he was dying, the last time I saw him was in this hovel of a nursing home. Staffed with probably good staff, undergoing renovation, it was not a place I would like to die. I guess it does not matter for at the end it is irrelevant in some fashion, where the dying will take place for soon, you become unaware. Let me interject here that I spend a year and a half working in Palliative Care working with people who were actively dying and working with their families. I have hard experience and know how death looks, smells and feels - to the living mind you, to the living.

So I sat there in his room as he signed his will so hastily drawn up on my computer a few months ago. I held his hand, that strong hand of his that had built the fence going down the driveway, where we had cleared it of pestiferous ivy and had our conversations and late night hellos around. This fence did not separate but brought two very different people together for conversations. Surface as they could sometimes be, I enjoyed them and his company.

Holding his hand, looking in his eyes, his eyes met mine and he shook his head and I mine, in unspoken acknowledgment that this was indeed the time of his death. We had talked about it before but this time . . . there was no need. He had done his best, I had done what I could with whatever demands I had in my own life, to assist him.

I was not there when he died but I said my goodbyes that day when I held his hand for the longest time. I did him no favors. I only did what I could, it was nothing special. Although I could not have done more, I will always wish that I could have. But he had made his choices in his life and I think in the end, he looked at his life and finally accepted it, his death, his life, his mistakes, everything. That is it you see, we can either make peace or we will not.

There is such a thing as a good death. These words I write are my own, they belong to no one and only to my creation of them, they are not a reflection of anyone except my experience of this man, this neighbor, this casual friend who died. John’s death was his own, it was not a bad one; he had love and support from others around him that stuck with him through life and now, at last, through death. If there is some reward for this type of faith, let it come upon those who take upon themselves this sacred duty. Sometimes there is no choice.

So John and I shook hands, shook our heads in silent agreement, grinned at each other grimly and smiled. As drugged up as he was . . . he knew the score and so did I. I told him I'd see him again and I walked out of that room and he died two days later.

I'll miss him.

Santa Rosa Cyclery

Happy Trails Indeed - I bought my Santa Cruz from them about six years ago and was very happy when they split off and got their own shop. I know Mitch and have always gotten great service from all of the gang at the shop. Good to hear from someone else that has patronized their fine establishment. I like the website too at:

http://www.santarosacyclery.com/

Thanks for reading,

David

What Bike for Annandale?

My thanks to whomever wrote in asking my thoughts about if their bicycle might be appropriate to Annandale. They don't have a full suspension and I do not think that is a problem I rode for years on a hardtail,in fact it was an older Trek 750 (?)mountain bike with no suspension at all. When I finally upgraded to a Santa Cruz Light I was amazed at the amount of control that I had.

Back to the question - I think a hybrid would work just great on most of the trails in Annandale. There is a huge variety of trails, single track, double, giant freeways of roads composed of gravel, hardpacked dirt and so on and so forth. A hybrid would be great for this and of course much would depend on how much suspension you have on the bike. There is a trail called Rough Go that you may want to be careful if you go on. It is beyond my skill level except when I get off and walk in many parts of it. I neither have the skill level or the training to successfully and safely make it up and down without walking at some point.

Much of my riding is done on the coast up near Timber Cove on nicely carpeted fire roads and single track and if you fall, in general it can be on softer ground. Up at Annandale (i.e., Rough Go), falling could be dangerous. I carry my Timbercove Fire Dept Radio with me when I ride there . . . for myself or anyone else that may need that extra bit of assistance.

Yesterday at one of our local Emergencey Departments I took care of a rider (road bike) who had been on a 200 mile organized ride. On a downhill about 35 miles per hour the front tire blew out and they endoed (end over end, at least they think so) and was knocked unconscious. It all turned out well, just a fractured collar bone but this individual was very tough and actually considered finishing the race after they woke up - on the road! On her discharge certificate I had the doc put in a sentence that they should receive an honorary jersey for finishing at the Emergency Room - after all, 130 miles of a 200 mile ride! I could not even do a century at this point which forces me to the obvious conclusion that I need to work less, ride more. Or as the slogan on the T-Shirt says, Shut up and Ride.

Thanks to whomever wrote in with that question and I hope you will come back to read it. I can suggest a few cool bicycle shops, place to get work and advice and there is also a group of fairly hard core mountain bikers who ride very Wednesday evening at Annadale. They are too fast for me at this point as they are in great shape. I do alright but need to lose weight, exercise more and work less. Working less is hard to do when the priority is to pay off the debt I have previously mentioned.

And that, is that! Thanks for reading and aloha nui loa.

David

Credit Card down to $11,350 Baby!

For me, is good, is good. I am taking donations by the way people. If I can get rid of this before the end of the year I will be a happy individual.

Meanwhile, I work almost every day even when not in the Emergency Department. I work online in the mornings till 11. Today I ran around taking care of errands, fixing a water system. I get home and have more task set out for me, the proverbial honeydo list - fairly much inconsiderate of how I am feeling, how tired I might be, how hot it is or hungry I may be.

That kind of thoughtlessness and inconsideration does not get you far in the long run.

Paying off the Debt because I am Sick of it.

I have become increasingly disgusted with the level of credit card debt that I have been carrying. I regard it as immoral, unhealthy and dangerous. When I think of the amount of savings I could have if I diverted my payments from Credit to savings I am amazed.

While I like credit, I have abused it. I believe that the Credit Card companies are predatory and many should be put out of business. They make it too easy to live beyond your means. However, I do not blame them for my quandary, I blame myself.

As of today I owe $12,000. I got to this point by a combination of bad or foolish choices (and I am trying to be very self examining and honest) and circumstance. For example, at times I may buy something simply for pleasure. At other times I used it while I was in nursing school, an emergency car repair and so on and so forth. It would be of value to look at a five year history to analyze that.

I recently joined Mint.com to try and help me suss this out a bit better. I no longer carry the one credit card I have. There is not annual membership fee and my interest rate is 6.75%.

In one month I have paid off $2000 and this in addition to my regular bills. I eat out less, I am working two jobs (and sometimes three when I pick up extra work as a nurse here and there). Every time I think about my credit card debt, I make sure that I get online and pay $25, since I wrote this just now I am going to have to pay another $25 off. That is in addition to a $500 payment yesterday and a $300 payment today.

I even pay in the middle of the day or night if I think about it, I pay instantly, logging into my bank site using my mobile. If I do not go to a movie, I send the money I would have used for the movie to my credit card.

I am determined to be financially responsible, to live within my means, to stand up for what I believe in. Debt cripples me and chains me to my job, a place and constricts my mind and imagination. When I have paid this credit card off I am going to reward myself by actually saving the same amount into savings and retirement. I am going to buy myself an apple computer (since I am dumping all PC related junk eventually). I will buy used (from an Apple employee friend who gets new ones all the time).

I don't want to be cheap - but thrifty? Yes. I want to be able to buy very nice clothes, even expensive but not on credit and not a lot but of high quality.

I am so lucky to be able to do this. How many people do any of us know that can divert $2000 of their income in one month to debt? I am paying the price though, no free time and not much activities except work and more work. Luckily, I love being a nurse and I love it even more that I am back in the Emergency Room and in the field as a Volunteer Firefighter and Emergency Medical Technician.

Enough babbling for now. If you can think of other ways to get out of debt and be more fiscally responsible then please let me know!

Thanks for reading - David

Looking South, highway one around 7 pm

A view of a boundless forever.

Highway One & Meyers Grade

The drive home . . . Looking West.

Working the Night Shift in the Emergency Room Jungle

. . . sounds like a song but a song of love it is not. I hate the night shift. I love the peace and quiet of the night shift but I hate the graveyard shift in the ER. Most of the time, luckily for our potential patients . . . it is quiet as a graveyard. So we do paperwork, lots and lots of paperwork. I love that, really, really, I do.

I sit there and force myself to stay awake, walk outside run around, breath, breath and breath again. Flush the boredom and sleep away to live so that I can and others may. Check my email, no blog entries from there but I want to. Study my Emergency Nursing books and take test.

Pray for a patient to walk in, pray that it is not too serious but not too minor so I won't hate them for coming into the Emergency Room for a fingernail or a cold they want antibiotics for.

I sit there and I thank god I am NOT in a Level I or Level II trauma center where it is all rushed, chaotic (we don't thrive on true chaos, we abhor it) and you are pushed to the limit every shift because there are not enough nurses or your knowledge is not enough or you slept too little.

Did I mention I hate the night shift and love my workmates and being there. Maybe just one person saved, or healed or pain lessened will inject some meaning into the sometimes senseless debacle that passes for health care in this country mine.

I always wanted to be . . . a spy.

I don't know why except one reason was that I grew up the son of an U.S. Air Force officer and learned about duty. I know that I had the idealistic views of the neophyte. My initial conceptions of the 'intelligence' agent were idealistic and naive. I thought that to go out and gather information to protect people was a noble cause. The reality is that information is subverted to the political will of its ultimate consumer. The agent of information collection is just a tool and many times is simply thrown to the wolves if political expediency demands it.

To this day though I enjoy reading well written spy novels and actual histories about espionage. One of my favorites is Legacy of Ashes by Tim Weiner. Other authors include Le Carre (of course!), Alex Berenson and especially Robert Littel, whom I consider a real master.

It is a foggy world, not many black and whites. My goal would have been the clandestine service, a nonofficial cover (or NOC) agent. I would never want to be a desk jockey riding my cubicle. I would want to be in the field. The real life of a 'spy' many times is probably most filled with boredom. This is what I don't love. What I do love is that make believe world of espionage with a dash of romance thrown in here and there.

Duty, honor, country? I think duty, honor, world more than anything. I applied to the Agency once upon a time. Too old I guess at that time. More later.

Riding with good people

1906 lake

Mountain bike ride on Seaview Ridge. This lake was supposedly formed
during the 1906 earthquake. Lots of birdlife, scintillating shades of
green, cattails, very beautiful.

False Fingernail Visit in the Emergency Room

In the last few days there was a patient who came into an Emergency Room that had removed their false fingernail. While doing so, it hurt. So they came into the emergency room.

There was nothing wrong with it. No pain upon walking in. This visit cost them nothing because we, that's right, you and I baby . . . we pay for this person to be an absolute idiot.

Who is worse? The idiots running the country who do not have National Health Insurance or fingernail people. Just once, I would like to screen people at the door based on the stupidity of their complaint.

The other day, in another Emergency room a mother brought in her child with the barest visible bruise on her nose. Someone threw a CD and it hit her nose. No crying, no blood, nothing at all. So there is another Thousand dollars or so that this family does not even think of because they DO NOT HAVE TO PAY. So they come in and laugh, play, misbehave to the point where we have to say something.

Welcome to American Medicine.

Speechless . . .

when there is not much to say. We get tied up in our own lives, our 'personal' lives that can hurt so much or be the root of great joy. Till disaster hits and then all of that becomes irrelevant in the larger context of life. We all have personally momentous decisions to make I guess, ones that will have a major impact on our lives. But often these decisions are made in a vacuum, or our personal bubble of life and perhaps a few friends know of what is developing or occupying you.

Then I look at so many dead in Burma, so many dead in Sechuan and I just want to go and work, to stop thinking, to just do and place my own life where it should be in the larger scheme of things . . . unimportant for awhile, not irrelevant but certainly it pales in comparison to many thousands dead, dying, homeless, wounded, suffering.

So easy for a liberal to whine and moan as I do now, to lie awake at the early hours of the morning, wondering just what the hell it is I am doing with my own life when so many suffer.

My own familiarity with what I write here is disgusting and makes me sick. When will I rise up and make those changes in my life which I know are inevitable? They must be made and indeed the formation, realization and actual execution of those decisions began long ago. So despite whatever paltry personal pain I will go through? Irrelevant, unpleasant, necessary.

I must remember those who are in need greater than myself. To take action without endless jabbering.

David

Oh please, did I write this!

What to do when you are going insane.
Listening to music that keeps you warm inside,
dropping into your head
to keep you out of your mind and into your heart.

wish you were with me cause I've been thinking about you
you don't know me anymore,
and not that you ever have,
and not that you ever did.
But you are sure inside my head like the music I can't keep out.

You keep goin' round and round
you are the perfect girl for me
the one that's in my head

for I've got all your imperfections down you see
I know you inside and out.
You are that song in my head and heart
I know your every verse

You are the song that I sing
when things are going from bad to worse
It's the struggle to make you real I see
that's in my heart and soul

for your heart is the song I'll sing
when I sing for love I yearn for.

Leaving the Ridge

Aloha . . . while it is time to leave my beloved Ridge I find myself more reluctant to do so. It was such an incredibly beautiful day and I was able to get so much done. I mowed the yard and that was difficult as it was so long, thick and wet here and there. I cut down the first of several oak trees and this was the small one of the bunch. An old rose (I believe it is called a Cecil Warner but who knows!) had began to live in this Oak tree and I unfortunately had to take much of it with the tree. As old as it is I am sure it will regenerate and grow afresh once again. Besides, I did not take the whole thing!

Looks like 'my' website is down for now, tried taking a peak at my last post and it will not come up. I installed a couple of network extenders up here (see www.open-mesh.com) and it seems to have made all the difference in signal strength and range. Now all I have to do is replace the electronics that I have lost from PG&E's giant power surge that came through a few months ago. Auwe!

Thanks for reading,

David

elnabaker.com and studio360.org

Aloha, as I sat around the fire tonight, watching the stars, being oh so stunningly obvious introspective man (that was a joke people) I also caught studio360.org on KQUED (88.5). I listened to Elna Baker doing a spot she entitled, 'My Grandmother's Dress'. It was one of the most hauntingly beautiful, hilarious, sad but joyous pieces of radio work I have heard in a long time. Please do yourself a favor and check the piece out at:

http://www.studio360.org/episodes/2008/04/11/segments/96586

You can also check out her website at: www.elnabaker.com

She has some screamingly funny video clips hosted, where else these days but on youtube.com.

Thanks Elna, I'll be keeping up with your career. Thanks to you for a wonderful evening that you did not know you gave as a gift (but hope she knows after she reads all the comments people left at studio360.org)!

Thoughts on the Ridge of Dreams

I am up on my family's Ridge Ranch for a few days. We call it that because it was or perhaps is a Ranch and on Seaview Ridge. More apt to call it a tree farm because we grow coastal Redwoods on our 150 acres of land. Less apt is Seaview since we have no view of the sea unless we cut down many trees on land that we do not lay claim to nor wish to. It is, in fact, Salt Lake State Park land.

The silence and the peace here . . . well . . . it is hard to describe. Yes, one could say it is lonely and 'in the sticks' but if you knew the people here you would not be lonely. It 'feels' lonely at this moment but that is my own melancholy that anchors me to that and anchors, if one is lucky can either be pulled up or the line severed. Used to the din and clamor of life below it takes some time to sink into the meaning of life here, to let it gently cradle you into it, lowering you softly into its welcoming, embracing silence. For its silence is anything but . . . the whooshing flap of the raven's wings, the clicking communications and cawing rap as they wend their way through wind-blown aeries, from redwood to redwood, branch to branch. Then in the distance, there is sometimes the boom and crash of surf and sand . . . and occasionally the whooping bark of a laughing sea lion, fierce and beautiful in its intensity. Through this 'quiet' is the hum of twenty or twenty five hummingbird wings thrumming in ferocious intensity. Under that are the sound of grasshoppers and crickets living their busy lives. As I sink into this I become so aware of my own place in the universe and somehow, more at peace, at least in this single moment.

While the rest of the world in its many places hums with injustice, suffering, anger, violence and more I can be here in my temporary refuge. It can serve as that I think, a place to reconnect, to ponder, think, exist with and without thought. It may be the place where I will die, or hope to die perhaps in what I hope is some distant future! As time passes I become increasingly aware of this fact and that as much as we may pretend to 'own' (and now in this instant that idea is quaint to say the least) the land . . . in truth, it 'owns' us. It will endure beyond this mortal flesh of mine. In Fiji I learned that deep connection and now, I feel it here in this place as I have so often before over the years. Musing upon my own mortality I imagine.

Yet what is this restlessness that drives me? I strive to understand and know, to come to some sort of accommodation with it. A childhood of constant movement, of re adaptation at each new posting, living (and still proud of it in some way for some reason) as an Air Force "Brat". This spoiled me in some way, always a new horizon, forced to get along and be able to get along and make new friends quickly. So I grew up longing for connection, for a sense of community, to 'belong' yet always knowing as a child that I was 'different'. I had seen and done things that others could only imagine and dream about and that some would shirk away from in shock, content to be content.

This restlessness, this hunger for newness, for the horizon yet unseen, the sunrise and set of each new place, the searching for a loved familiar face, this is what drives me to move. To live in a country other than my birthplace, to remain dissatisfied because in the end, I always know that there is so much more to be lived, each and every day of my life.

That is why, coming to this place, I can fall to my knees in wonderment and thankfulness for this blessing, this honor, this realization of how grateful, how lucky and how happy I can be in this moment, in this place.

On paper I am a citizen of the United States. But this idea of nation statehood is what damages us. I see myself as a citizen of the world, a world citizen, call it what you will. The concept derives importance in its articulation and belief in it. Cease the nationalistic jingoism and perhaps we may begin to someday act with the community of people in mind and not the community of nations. Woodrow Wilson's United Nations was a beginning but only that. I fear for what is coming.

Thanks for reading.

David

My Visit to San Quentin Prison

Aloha. A few weeks ago I was able to visit San Quentin Prison near San Francisco. One of the oldest prisons in the United States it was originally started aboard a ship that was anchored offshore. It was built in the 1850's and to this day many parts of it reflect that heritage or time period. I did not take the public tour but rather was escorted by one of the medical personnel - a nurse to be specific. It was one of the most interesting experiences I have had.

By way of a brief background the Prison system in California is under Federal receivership meaning they are subject to Federal oversight and control of the whole system. I will not delineate further here as there are plenty of other much better bloggers with much more and better information that are keeping up with the process.

My own background as a nurse has largely been Medical Surgical nursing and while I would say I have competently taken care of patients I am not a great nurse. I'm striving to be . . . I have excellent rapport, am a good history taker and can take very good care of them on a psychological level. My first love has always been the Emergency Medical System (EMS) since I started in the field as an EMT and than moved into the Emergency Room (ER) as an ER Technician. Of late I have been all over the place looking at how we do medicine in this country - I have visited the Veterans Administration and part of my search was to visit the State correctional system.

Overall what I see (to no great surprise) is an overburdened and underfunded system, at many levels, stretched to the breaking point. I see the patients and staff doing the best that they can but clearly, the Federal Government's priority is keeping America safe by war fighting, combating terrorism and spreading Peace, Freedom and Democracy around the globe. I think that if they continue to ignore the American people that there will be trouble - personally I would like to see a revolution, an overthrow of the conservatives and neoconservatives.

But I digress . . . brief impressions of the medical system at San Quentin. So much to do with so few resources yet they tell me that it has gotten so much better. Unique challenges abound, for example an inmate suffers a heart attack yet locked in a cell, not under direct observation poses a challenge as to getting to them in time to attempt resuscitation.

I did not find it a scary place. I was very respectful and indeed this last week a few guards were stabbed in a riot in Southern California. So things can change in an instant. I am not sure I would wish to work there but I went with the intention of not having a closed mind about it and yes, I would still consider it at this point and I do not even know the benefits and pay. Deep down I believe that all people deserve health care to the best level possible.

I did find myself a bit nervous at times but I never saw so many guards in my life. I would have liked to work a shift and that may still be possible - they are checking into it. I do know that the stress alone of being in the system can lead to major problems in previously healthy people. It was noisy, crowded but also busy with inmates talking, laughing, and just trying to get through there day.

It was an amazing place and I may write more but this post is long enough for now. Thanks for reading, always.

David

Peace Corps Director - my application

Aloha and yes I am applying for a Peace Corps Director position somewhere in the world. My lack of some languages limits me, I speak German and Fijian but do not speak Spanish, French, or Portuguese. I don't really care where I go but care that I contribute somewhere or somehow.

Send career leads my way for things like this and thanks.

David

Chinese Leaders Suddenly Realize They Are Livinging in the 50's!

With all the kerfluffle going on in Tibet - and by this I mean the continuing killing, jailing, assault of the Tibetans - I laughed out loud at come of the comments of the so called leader of the Autonomous Region of Tibet and by Premier Hu Jintao. They may be able to ship thousands of troops into Tibet and brutalize the so called 'splittist' but much of the world laughs at their crudity, dated language and apparent belief that the world believes their outright BS and lies.

What I would tell the Chinese leadership is this . . . look, you have the opportunity to NOT be like America in so many ways. The party tries desperately to not follow the Western economic model but in reality is engaged in a headlong rush to massive oil consumption, overall consumption and pollution with little to no regard for the long term impact on the planet.

Instead of cracking down on Tibet - Leave! Get the hell out, prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that China will be an example of a moral or ethical leadership. Yeah, I know, I can hear the screams of laughter now.

I am ashamed enough of my own government and our embarrassing "President" that I can barely stand anyone who thinks the Dalai Lama supports violence and is behind the events in Tibet. If I was Tibetan I would be angry at the Han Chinese also and the government that is bringing millions of them to my country. If that happened here I would not like my culture threatened - the cultural genocide the Dalai Lama speaks of so eloquently.

The leaders of China are almost a bigger joke than George Bush except they are all responsible for so many deaths.

Jackie Ryan - Jazz

Aloha - I caught an unbelievably great show the other night at Sonoma State University. Jackie Ryan was the singer and I must admit my great ignorance (and some sadness) at not having known about her before. She put on a very professional, fun, personable and a definite jazz lovers show. She picked great tunes, has wonderful and engaging presence and for gods sake get yourself an opportunity to see her. I especially loved her crew this night (and apologies for not having all their names here). The drummer was excellent, they all were, but his facial expressions as he became lost in the music (in the finest sense of the word) or rather as he BECAME the music, was a beautiful thing.

http://www.jackieryanmusic.com/

After doing just a bit of web research the depths of my ignorance is always amazing. Do check her out gang.

I used to complain it was difficult to find Jazz around Sonoma County and in some ways, depending on where you live, it is. However, I need to work harder because after this I know there is some world class jazz - right here.

On a last closing note - she's got some aloha spirit too after a couple of years on Maui.

Aloha . . . .

David

World Health Organization

I put in over six applications to the World Health Organization tonight. All over the world really, Cairo, Phillipines, Africa and more. Late night but worth it, heard from my former professor at the University of Hawaii who is now in Sydney at a conference.
Lots of thoughts, thinking about the nature of work, what gives and provides meaning to one's life. Guess that is what we are all looking for.

Want to mention a great web site, www.lifehacker.com

Thanks for reading.

David

Sunset

Love the Feds for thinking they can mess with time! Beauty amid the
madness.

Brief Update

Looking for not just work but meaning in and from the work. Not wanting 'just' a job but a chance to make a difference in the world. Not so interested in just going to work, not thinking, just to make money to buy my 'things'. More interested in not so many 'things' but in the quality and amount of interactions with my community, those people around and of my community. Wanting and willing to work hard but not wanting the work to be the 'be all, end all' of my life. Valuing the sense of community and neighborhood. Not wanting to rush, rush, rush as the culture seems to engaged in that headlong rush to nowhere.

Goal is one of living here and outside of here, somewhere 'over there', mainly the South Pacific but even in Europe where home also was . . . having lived in Germany back in 'the day'. Working toward that requires some sort of patience that evidently I must work at gaining (he says with a dry grin interlaced with frustration.)

So that is a brief update, wordy but brief enough I reckon. Come on people, where are the leads when I need and want?

David

Medicine, the book Overtreated, the path forward with an eye on the past . . . .

I just finished reading, Overtreated: Why Too Much Medicine Is Making Us Sicker and Poorer. Shannon Brownlee is the author.

I read most of this while I was in Fiji. The reading of this book and my experience in my last position has convinced me that I need to do primary care, have a long-term relationship with my patients (if at all possible), practice in a community setting with an organization that has ties to the community and is part of that community and not solely there to extract money for services without adequate follow up. Shannon Brownlee has written an eminently readable book and I highly recommend it.

So I am out looking for this kind of organization, one where I can use my medical background but also my Masters in Psychology. I have a lot to contribute but want to use ALL of my talents and education and especially to be appreciated. I also want to be in a learning organization (however small). Maybe I will just have to end up in a Doctor's Office, who knows.

Yet at the same time I am looking to get back overseas with the Loloma Foundation (a link is to the right under medical work in Fiji) doing medical projects and other health related / learning development projects.

Thanks for reading. Leads and thoughts appreciated.

David

Future of power

Every little bit makes sense, no? This is a wind farm on Highway 12 in Northern California. Admittedly not a great shot (my Iphone at about 60 miles per hour!) but they are many stories tall. I would love to be able to have one of these or its smaller cousin on my family ranch on Seaview Ridge. Someday perhaps we will.

David

RN's at Colonial War Memorial Hospital, Suva, Fiji

 

These folks were kind enough to show us around and let us take some photographs. Love the uniforms!

United States Department of State

Aloha . . . a long time ago, at least for me, I graduated UCLA in Political Science and took as many classes as possible in International Relations. After graduating the Peace Corps gave me more experience on a very basic level. While I plan on staying in medicine I am going to take the State Department examination this March.

I have friends with State, currently in Reykjavik. There are a lot of great people in State - I have met many of them over the years and it would be a difficult job especially in todays climate. Nonetheless, it might be a way to make a difference in some way. I'll do my best to pass the test although I know most people do not! International Service calls to me though.

At times I almost feel desperate to make a contribution, a lasting contribution to make things better. I am working on it.

David

A fine day

A fine day to ride at Annandale State Park. I know you can't see a lot
here but at least there is some light and clean blue sky. On this day,
life continues, world orbits, people love, we learn, babies are born.
Life is exactly what it is in each moment. I'm not too profound today
but while we strive to change it, it is busy changing us. Wisdom is
learning that, and just maybe each day I get closer to it? At the very
least, I make the attempt.

Moves, Movies, Movies

Aloha. Last night I saw Atonement and this evening, There Will be Blood. Two very different movies but both thought provoking. One wistful, memories tinged with sadness, shame, guilt. The other full of mystery, questions of birth, death, endless anger. I enjoyed both of them but there was such sadness in each and perhaps in only one, redemption.

See them.

David