28.12.12
21.12.12
Tearing my Right Meniscus & Learning Patience and Pain
As I am confined to less mobility, somewhat housebound it is past time for an entry here. A few weeks ago I was mountain biking on the bluffs of Gerstle Cove State Park - very close to our family ranch on the East side of Salt Point State park. I took a very easy, slow speed tip-over / fall onto my left side. Good enough, no damage done from that. As I was unclipping and then twisting to get up and out of the ditch I was lying in I heard my right knee pop a bit and had a bit of pain. Stopped what I was doing, straightened it out and then was able to get up and ride for another hour with no pain.
A few hours later it locked up and the saga began. Realistically though this was not from my bike tip over for I had pain over a year or more while pivoting and had not been able to sit cross legged for the last few years due to pain (especially noted when I wanted to have a yaqona ceremony). So the bike just exacerbated a preexisting injury. I put up with it for a week without an MRI and then with no resolution scheduled the MRI. Now I love MRI's and almost all imaging technology even though I am untrained it seems such a 'cool' thing to be able to see the inside of a body - especially your own! That said it is not the spectacular 3 D, cleaned up and super enhanced CGI stuff we get out of Hollywood.
My official diagnosis is a bucket handle tear of the Right Meniscus which for those who do not know is the pad between the bones of your upper and lower leg. If the damage is bad enough they can take it out. As they related to me this was one of worst tears they had ever seen but it was repairable with sutures. I have the arthroscopic images and after orienting myself it was very impressive to see the tear and actual abrasions / channels I had worn into some ligaments.
Dealing with the Aftermath
I chose the word aftermath quite deliberately. The lead up to and the surgery itself was nothing. Recovery has been harsh - truly difficult for me and the number one issue has been pain. Other issues have been greatly lessened mobility, a greatly lessened feeling of independence and the corresponding need to rely on others for assistance. I find myself continuing to be surprised by my reluctance to not depend on others - I find it difficult to ask for help so I am working on that.
The pain - as an ER nurse (and I am proud of being in the ER so am taking credit for that because not just anyone can work in the ER!) we ask our patients to rate their from 0 - 10. Zero being no pain, 1-2 is uncomfortable and 10 the worst pain experienced in their life. You know where I am going with this one don't you!? Well ladies and gentleman - this was my 10! It did not hit until later that night after my local block well and truly wore off. I ended up just weeping - not only from pain but the mental frustration, the unexpectedness of it's severity and the attendant anticipation of more to tome and for some time.
In 'my' ER, I am known as one of the more compassionate and involved staff (not always a good thing depending on the situation). To the point where I go beyond what other nurses do, when the time is available, to hook patients up with additional resources but also to the point where many of the other RN's give me a hard time about being too nice or understanding or 'soft'. Some RN's simply are task performers - that is bullshit and I don't want them in 'my' ER. I want passionate, involved, proactive, caring nurses that can do it all and not just 'get' a difficult IV stick. Why talk about this now? Because inevitably every thing I go through in life has the potential to make me a better person but also a better nurse. This experience is a good one then - as much as I may hate the pain and curse the situation.
The positives are that I now have a better idea of what a 10/10 pain is for me and I have done some good technical learning also. The negatives are that I have had to resort to Vicodin (only side effect was itching!) for the pain and my initial use really was high - considering I had never used opiates in the past. I said NEVER didn't I? So I used 40 in six days. Sometimes two an hour. It was crazy but the pain was almost unbearable at times. I was doing my best to 'man up' but also not to take that fallacy to the extreme either!
I am just over a week out from arthroscopic surgery. I follow the usual regimen, RICE (rest, ice, compression, elevation). Mobility is slightly up and improving. Vicodin use way down which I am very happy about! So I continue my ibuprofen and am also using Bromelaine to help with the inflammation. I am better on the crutches but boy do I miss walking and riding. The plus side is that I am going to get back into the pool as soon as possible.
I miss my work mates something fierce. I'll go back the day after Christmas, as non-weight bearing as possible and doing a lot of administrative work. We have this whole goal of doing a nurse first contact in the ER instead of a registration first contact so I will be pioneering that whole idea and developing some protocol around that.
That's about it for now. Even now my pain level is up to about a 4-5 but my tolerance for that pain level has gone up. I am grateful for that as I am for so much else. Thanks for reading,
David
A few hours later it locked up and the saga began. Realistically though this was not from my bike tip over for I had pain over a year or more while pivoting and had not been able to sit cross legged for the last few years due to pain (especially noted when I wanted to have a yaqona ceremony). So the bike just exacerbated a preexisting injury. I put up with it for a week without an MRI and then with no resolution scheduled the MRI. Now I love MRI's and almost all imaging technology even though I am untrained it seems such a 'cool' thing to be able to see the inside of a body - especially your own! That said it is not the spectacular 3 D, cleaned up and super enhanced CGI stuff we get out of Hollywood.
My official diagnosis is a bucket handle tear of the Right Meniscus which for those who do not know is the pad between the bones of your upper and lower leg. If the damage is bad enough they can take it out. As they related to me this was one of worst tears they had ever seen but it was repairable with sutures. I have the arthroscopic images and after orienting myself it was very impressive to see the tear and actual abrasions / channels I had worn into some ligaments.
Dealing with the Aftermath
I chose the word aftermath quite deliberately. The lead up to and the surgery itself was nothing. Recovery has been harsh - truly difficult for me and the number one issue has been pain. Other issues have been greatly lessened mobility, a greatly lessened feeling of independence and the corresponding need to rely on others for assistance. I find myself continuing to be surprised by my reluctance to not depend on others - I find it difficult to ask for help so I am working on that.
The pain - as an ER nurse (and I am proud of being in the ER so am taking credit for that because not just anyone can work in the ER!) we ask our patients to rate their from 0 - 10. Zero being no pain, 1-2 is uncomfortable and 10 the worst pain experienced in their life. You know where I am going with this one don't you!? Well ladies and gentleman - this was my 10! It did not hit until later that night after my local block well and truly wore off. I ended up just weeping - not only from pain but the mental frustration, the unexpectedness of it's severity and the attendant anticipation of more to tome and for some time.
In 'my' ER, I am known as one of the more compassionate and involved staff (not always a good thing depending on the situation). To the point where I go beyond what other nurses do, when the time is available, to hook patients up with additional resources but also to the point where many of the other RN's give me a hard time about being too nice or understanding or 'soft'. Some RN's simply are task performers - that is bullshit and I don't want them in 'my' ER. I want passionate, involved, proactive, caring nurses that can do it all and not just 'get' a difficult IV stick. Why talk about this now? Because inevitably every thing I go through in life has the potential to make me a better person but also a better nurse. This experience is a good one then - as much as I may hate the pain and curse the situation.
The positives are that I now have a better idea of what a 10/10 pain is for me and I have done some good technical learning also. The negatives are that I have had to resort to Vicodin (only side effect was itching!) for the pain and my initial use really was high - considering I had never used opiates in the past. I said NEVER didn't I? So I used 40 in six days. Sometimes two an hour. It was crazy but the pain was almost unbearable at times. I was doing my best to 'man up' but also not to take that fallacy to the extreme either!
I am just over a week out from arthroscopic surgery. I follow the usual regimen, RICE (rest, ice, compression, elevation). Mobility is slightly up and improving. Vicodin use way down which I am very happy about! So I continue my ibuprofen and am also using Bromelaine to help with the inflammation. I am better on the crutches but boy do I miss walking and riding. The plus side is that I am going to get back into the pool as soon as possible.
I miss my work mates something fierce. I'll go back the day after Christmas, as non-weight bearing as possible and doing a lot of administrative work. We have this whole goal of doing a nurse first contact in the ER instead of a registration first contact so I will be pioneering that whole idea and developing some protocol around that.
That's about it for now. Even now my pain level is up to about a 4-5 but my tolerance for that pain level has gone up. I am grateful for that as I am for so much else. Thanks for reading,
David
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)